Friday, November 13, 2015

Seriously, how does this stuff happen?  

1:30 in the afternoon:  I go into the bedroom and discover that not only is the bed not made, there are no sheets on it at all.  

Let's look back at my day thus far.  

Woke up at 7 AM when I heard my neighbor's car going down the drive.  Got up, fed the cat, made a mug of tea, ate breakfast, got dressed.  Discovered that I forgot to watch VS Arashi yesterday because I didn't realize it was Thursday, so I watched that online.  

8:30 AM.  So far, so good.  Time to tidy up the bedroom and put away the basket of laundry that I forgot about yesterday.....Laundry?!  There's stuff in the washer and stuff in the dryer, so I went to take care of that.  There were clean sheets in the dryer, so changing the bed seemed like a good idea and I stripped the bed but then I saw that the plants on the beside table wanted water so I went to the kitchen to get the watering can but I discovered that I hadn't opened the kitchen shades yet.  While I was standing next to the work table, I saw a recipe that I wanted to try so I put lentils on to cook, and I started tidying up the kitchen but I heard the washer finish so I went to take care of that.  But after I put stuff in the dryer and more stuff in the washer, I realized that I needed to clean out the lint container so I went to the kitchen trash and that reminded me that I needed to pick up the trash from the rest of the house so I wandered away to do that but while I was in the bedroom I realized that I had forgotten another quick project that I needed to finish so I went to get some ribbon from the study closet.  While I was in the study, the phone rang.  Telemarketer.  Ignored that but started tidying up the desk and then the buzzer went off in the kitchen reminding me to take care of the lentils so I left the ribbon on the bookcase in the hall.  

10:30 AM.  Things have already spun out of control.  I've forgotten the sheets, the plants,  the ribbon, the laundry, and the drain on the washer has run over.  But the lentils require immediate attention.

11:30 AM.  The kitchen is now a mess but I'm having lunch early anyway because, hey, the food is ready.  So while I'm eating I get online to check eBay and get some online work done.

1:30 PM.  I walk into the bedroom.  Surprise!  No sheets.  Where did the time go?  I've been busy all morning but absolutely nothing is finished.  Seriously, how does this stuff happen?  How do other people get stuff done without getting distracted?  

Focus.  I have no focus. At all.  How embarassing.

Ah well, life is an adventure.  I think I'll walk down to the mailbox.....let's just hope I don't wander too far away on the walk back.

Editing to add:

When I went out the front door to walk down the drive for the mail, I saw a fat brown thrasher bird.  He was carrying a stick that was much too big for him.  I guess he wanted it for his winter nest but it really was too big, so big that he couldn't take off with it in his bill.  Instead of flying off when he saw me, he sort of waddled away unwilling to let go of that big twig.  He made me smile.

But before I got to the mail box I had stopped smiling because I was confronted by three dogs.  I like dogs generally but dogs being allowed to run the neighborhood unsupervised can be (and often have been) dangerous.  I hollered for the dogs to shoo and, fortunately, their owner was nearby so I was able to explain nicely that the dogs have kept me from walking in my own yard.  Although I tried to keep the encounter pleasant, it was tiring and I was frustrated.

When I got back to the house and all of the disheartening messes that I haven't finished clearing up yet, I remembered that I had a packet of hot chocolate.  That's what I needed; that would be a nice way to get the back on track because I have a deal with myself:  if I've put the kettle on the stove, I clean up the kitchen until it whistles.  That way there's something to look forward to while something productive gets done:  win/win.  

And it occurred to me that maybe I'm no so unfocussed after all.  Maybe my focus is just different.  I achieve stuff; it's just that I achieve in my own time in my own way.

Maybe all this has been on my mind because of some videos I recently watched on YouTube.  These ladies post about their beautiful lives and about their beautiful homes and about how they keep everything just perfect with their exacting routines.  It's impressive.....and incredibly intimidating.

It's impossible not to make comparisons.  But I can't do what they do.  I just can't.  My health issues keep me from doing everything I'd like to do anyway but I try hard every day.  Really I do.  I try hard without giving up.  Sometimes I succeed.  A lot of times, I just miss the mark; and I have to forgive myself for that.

By the time the kettle whistled, I had the dishwasher filled and most of the kitchen mess tidied up.  

And I had realized something else:  I'm a lot like that thrasher with the too-big twig.  He couldn't take off and fly until he dropped the burden.  I can't either.  The thrasher will find a more manageable twig because he will keep looking for the right one; eventually his nest will be done.  I also can only do the best I can, and it's enough.

God's eye is on the sparrow.  And on the thrasher.  And on me, too.  
I'm fine just the way God made me.

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