Wednesday, March 9, 2016

The Human Must Pay!

Daisy has opinions.  Definite opinions.  Daisy has rules.  Unbreakable rules.  She does NOT like it when the human refuses to comply.

General rules regarding the bed:
1.  The human must not invade the Cat's space.  The Cat's space is on the upper right side of the bed.....or anywhere else the Cat chooses to designate at will.
2.  The human must not make changes.
     2a.  The human may change the sheets ONLY if the Cat is allowed to play the "Attack From Under the Sheet" game 
     2b.  The human should not change the blanket.
     2c.  The human must NOT change the quilt.
     2d.  The human must NEVER change the pillows.

Infractions of these rules will be met with immediate punishment. 

Biting and blood-letting will result in cases of infraction of Rule 1. 

Infractions of the various parts of rule 2 will be met with varying levels of feline terrorism which include but are not limited to: 
     shoving the human off the bed
     waking the human repeatedly all night
     burking the human by standing on her chest
     strangling the human by balancing on her larynx
     sleeping in the area between the human's knees so that she cannot move at all
     freaking the human out by staring unblinkingly at her in the dark.
More actions may be taken as deemed necessary by the Cat.

* * * * *

Yeah, I thought it was a healthy idea to give the bed a big change yesterday--you know, spray Lysol, change anything possible to drive those germs outta there.

Big mistake.  I broke all the rules.  Feline payback is evil.  Last night was hellish. 

The good news is that the new moon has come and my temperature is finally lowering.  I just hope that Daisy lets me live long enough to enjoy it. 

She's sitting behind me right now staring at my back, and she's Not Blinking.  I am still in big, big trouble.  I dread to think what Daisy has planned for me next.


.....Update from the Human: 
as of 3 PM US CDT, please be advised that Daisy the Cat, upon successfully completing a 6-hour daytime session of non-stop nagging, has earned herself a one-way non-refundable all-expenses-paid trip to the moon! 

Details may, or may not, follow.....

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