Friday, July 28, 2017

Be the Paintbrush

Oh my.  I made someone feel inadequate.  And, honest to goodness, I would never purposely do that because I never feel entirely adequate myself on any given day.  Because of what I showed that I did, someone else thought they shouldn't even try to do what they wanted to do.  And that is just horrid.  I feel awful.  Crushing someone's hope is an evil thing.  I didn't mean to.  I repent.  Honest. 

The situation was that I was messing about again on the answer boards for a certain Un-named Online Business you can probably guess which one) because I like being useful and I can sometimes answer questions that other folks need answering.  Yesterday, someone wanted information about what she thought was a desk.  It wasn't.  It was a dressing table, rather similar to my own.  So I probably offered more information than was strictly necessary and I included a picture of my dressing table (which I've posted here before--this post, third picture) because I was identifying some characteristics about how the thing was built.  The poor soul who asked the original question apparently felt somewhat intimidated by my decorative efforts and appeared to think that I was some DIY guru who held the mystical keys to the secrets of painting antiques.  And I'm not.  Good heavens, I am most assuredly not.

I tried to write an appropriate answer for her but realized that I was once again wandering the endless realms of TMI and possible TLDR.  Bad me.  I just don't know when to shut up.  Never did.  Undoubtedly never will. 

But when I was about to edit the dickens out of my post, I thought:  wait a minute!  There's one place where I can still over-write, and it really seemed a shame to waste good information.  Thus I am yet again afflicting those sturdy few who steadfastly read here.  Yes, it's More Information Than You Want. 

This is what I edited out.....

.....Let me tell you a secret:  I hate sanding, too.  So I didn't!  I painted my dressing table in just one day and used only paint I already had on hand.  The only thing I purchased were new knobs that were on final clearance for about 80% off at the local hardware.

I have a very naughty lazy technique for dealing with pieces that Should Not Be Painted but Must Be Sanded.  And it works!  I've even successfully painted broken/re-glued ceramic lamp bases so that no one would ever know.  And it's just about the cheapest, laziest solution there is:  flat white spray paint.  Just spray on super-thin coats (it will almost look like dusty dots at first) one after the other, letting them dry well in between.  It creates a surface on the wood and gives the brush paint something to adhere to.  Once you've layered on about 5 or 6 coats, just get busy with some semi-gloss enamel, and you'll be done before you know it.  Easy peasy.

By the way, you know those nifty disposable foam brushes?  Don't bother to buy them because they fall apart in just minutes.  Waste of money!  Instead, go to the kitchen because you've probably already got just what you need:   find a plastic glove (or a rubber one you don't mind wrecking), a pair of scissors, and a fresh clean foam-style sponge.  Cut the sponge into manageable pieces (about 1 x 4 inches or so, bigger if you want but not too big).  Put on the glove, pick up a sponge piece, and Voila! you are now a paintbrush waiting to happen.

When you're done painting, just peel the glove off while you're still holding the piece of sponge and flip it inside out so that the sponge is contained in the glove.  You can either save it for the next coat (although you will have to put the glove back on quite carefully) or you can toss it in a very tidy manner.....

So, there you have it.  That was what I was gonna say but didn't.  See, the information about Being a Paintbrush really is too good to lose.  Well, I think it is. 

And now I'm gonna hush.  I'll go sit semi-quietly in a corner until I see some other unimportant soapbox I feel the need to step up on so I can pontificate on a subject that really doesn't amount to a hill of beans.  But in the meantime, I really will attempt to reflect because it's unkind to bowl someone over, even unintentionally.

Life is good.
And I need to do better.

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