Tuesday, April 12, 2016

It's a What?

As I've mentioned previously, my house is small (not Tiny), and my odd kitchen is a little galley with an oversized (and senseless) hallway.  I like the kitchen, though, and it's just fine for me.  Certainly it's lots better than some kitchens I've had (like the one that had previously been a bathroom and did not have any counters at all).

Over the past two months while I've been ill and busy, the kitchen has gone beyond being merely messy to becoming absolutely vagrant and very nearly derelict.  I realized a couple of days ago that the situation was entirely intolerable and even possibly unhealthy, so I've stolen time from other work that I really need to be doing to take on the task of kitchen clearing and cleaning instead. 

Besides, I promised a friend that I would make Kolaches for her, and I can't imagine baking in a kitchen that looks like an advertisement for an upcoming episode of Hoarders.  (I've never made Kolaches before.  In fact, I've never even had them.....but why would I let a little thing like that stop me?)

After I tidied the pantry, I made sure the kitchen cabinets were tolerable.  (It's one of my odd quirks:  my cabinets and closets are nearly always pristine; if I have a mess, it's in the middle of the room.  My tenant likes to tell me I'm living backwards and that messes should be hidden behind doors.  But I can't stand messes behind doors.)  They required little re-organizing.....except one:  the cabinet where I keep the bakeware and casseroles.  It's a fairly small cabinet, and it has to hold a lot of stuff.  A lot.  It takes near-genius-level jigsaw puzzle skills to fit everything in there, and I try not to keep stuff I won't use.  That's why I was surprised when I found two small black rounded utensils.  I had no idea what they were.

I sat on my little red footstool next to the cabinet muttering, "Someone gave me this, and it's a.....I have no idea but someone gave me this and.....what the heck is it?!"  The two things looked useful, even interesting.  They obviously had a purpose.  But I had no clue, so I put them to one side.

When I finally finished wedging everything into the cabinet, I noticed a small piece of folded paper hiding under the edge of a casserole.  That shouldn't be there, I thought.  When I pulled it out, I saw that it was the directions for the two black things, and I burst out laughing.

They were bacon bowl makers! 
Someone gave the vegetarian bacon bowl makers! 

I have no idea what I'll do with the bacon bowl makers but I put them right back in the cabinet because the situation was just too deliciously funny for words.  Then maybe I'll have another laugh on another day when, undoubtedly, I'll have forgotten what those two black utensils are.

I wonder if they'd work with soy fake-bacon?  I'll have to buy some next time I go shopping.

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