The yard sale is not coming together, and I'm in a big mess. Part of the problem has been my sensation of utter panic at taking this on and, strangely enough, the fear of succeeding--I always have a very hard time with that.
Because of the way I was raised, success feels a whole lot like disobedience; and, believe me, my parents never tolerated the least degree of disobedience. The week before she died, my mother was still telling me off for not obeying quickly enough, and I meekly replied, "yes, ma'am, I'm sorry" because that was the only tolerable answer. I was decades past becoming an adult at that point but that cut no ice with my mother.
Now I know I talk about God quite a bit. The fact of the matter is that I talk TO God quite a bit. And I believe that he answers. Not always in the way that I would like but still he answers. And I worry about being obedient enough there, too.
So there I was on the porch this morning, still trying to clear things up and unable to set out sales items until I do. And I was fussing and complaining and worrying. I know that we are not supposed to worry but sometimes it's hard to release the impulse.
Then Jesus said to his disciples:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.
For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.
Consider the ravens:
They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn;
yet God feeds them.
And how much more valuable you are than birds!"
But there I was. Worrying. And praying.
As I moved aside a pile of donated clothes that need cleaning before I can sell them (but I don't have any laundry soap right now), I found a beat-up old hat. I've noticed it before and ignored it. I thought it was one of those name brand things. But apparently I didn't look close enough.
Message received. Yes, I take God literally. (Remember that paint can? Read this post. And, of course, there was the sign I found in the workshop. Read this post, too.) I think that he knows that's the best way to respond to someone like me. In actual words. I swear that I do Not make this stuff up; it really happens.
One way or another, it's gonna be okay. Stuff doesn't have to be perfect. I just have to do my best. And I've gotta remember always to say Thank You for the hard lessons in life. It's when we give thanks that God does his best work in our lives.
I'll keep going on that yard sale no matter what.
It will be enough.
Life is good.